Captain Awesome and the Ultimate Spelling Bee Read online

  Table of Contents

  1. The Pollinator

  2. Spellcheck

  3. First Prize? A Hamster Sidekick!

  4. Super Tree House Study Sesh

  5. The Big Test

  6. How Do You Spell “Tie”?

  7. Beware of the Shusher!

  8. Evil’s Favorite Word

  9. Goodness Must Win!

  10. The Shush of Victory

  11. Shock, Surprise, and Double Shock!

  ‘Captain Awesome and the Spooky, Scary House’ Excerpt

  About Stan Kirby and George O’connor

  A-CHOOO!

  SNIFF!

  SNURFFLE!

  Eugene McGillicudy sat at his desk in Ms. Beasley’s class and wiped his nose with a tissue. It was only ten o’clock, and he’d been sneezing all morning.

  A-CHOO!

  He did it again. Maybe Eugene shouldn’t have moved his desk next to the open window. But he had to. It was the only way Eugene could keep an eye out for evil while still in school.

  It was the kind of thing that Super Dude did when he went undercover in Super Dude vs. the Evil School No. 2.

  What’s that?

  You’ve never heard of Super Dude? Really?! How could you not know about the greatest superhero in the whole world? He’s the superhero who single-handedly crushed The Crimson Crusher and still had enough time to rescue a baby ferret from an apple tree.

  Eugene could tell you all about Super Dude because Eugene had read every single comic book starring the superhero. In fact, Super Dude was the reason Eugene became Captain Awesome.

  With his best friend, Charlie Thomas Jones (also known as the superhero Nacho Cheese Man), and the class pet hamster, Turbo, Eugene formed the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to stop evil bad guys.

  Eugene took a deep, happy breath. There was no evil outside the school window today. Then he let out a giant sneeze.

  A-CHOOO!

  “Dude, you’ve been sneezing all morning,” Charlie whispered. “You okay?”

  Charlie was right! Eugene had been sneezing all morning and so had many of the other kids in class.

  “Don’t you see, Charlie?! It’s all part of his evil plan!” Eugene whispered urgently.

  “You’re right!” Charlie gasped. Then he paused and added, “Whose evil plan?”

  “Only the most evil of springtime villains!” Eugene replied.

  “The Pollinator!”

  Released from the cold fingers of winter justice, the Pollinator had returned! Dressed in his protective bee suit, he was unleashing the power of uncontrollable sneezing, watery eyes, and stuffy noses!

  “This is a job for Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man!” Captain Awesome yelled as he looked out the window. “Get ready, Pollinator! I’m going to wipe your evil nose with the Tissue of Goodness!”

  “Eugene . . . Eugene . . . Are you with us, Mr. McGillicudy?”

  Eugene finished marking his Captain Awesome scorecard. The score was Captain Awesome 2, Pollinator 0. He closed the notebook and slid it into his desk.

  “Yes, Ms. Beasley,” he replied.

  “It’s your turn,” she said.

  Of course it was Eugene’s turn. Isn’t that always the way it works? Teachers have their own superpower. They get you right when you’re thinking really important thoughts about how many times you’ve saved the world and crushed evil and then they ask you a question about state capitals or multiplication.

  “Please come up to the board,” Ms. Beasley said.

  The board? Eugene swallowed hard. That was the last place any kid wanted to be: in front of the class answering a question. It was always dangerous to write on the board with all your classmates watching your every move. Every mistake was there for the whole class to see.

  I’d rather eat beets, Eugene thought.

  That’s when Ms. Beasley shared her plans. “I want you to spell out one of the words that will be on tomorrow’s spelling test.”

  GULP!

  SPELLING?!

  TEST?!

  Eugene shuffled his feet across the floor and made his way to the board. Charlie held out his hand as Eugene scuffed past.

  “Good luck,” Charlie whispered. “You can do it, Captain Awesome!”

  Eugene gave a smile. He really wanted to change into his Captain Awesome superhero outfit, but he was in front of the whole class!

  As Eugene continued to the board, he passed by Meredith Mooney’s desk. She did not whisper. She liked her insults to be loud. She also liked to dress in pink from head to toe. If you poured pink lemonade into a forty-seven-inch-tall glass and floated a pink ribbon on top, you’d get the idea about just how pink Meredith looked most days.

  “Dazzle us with your brains, Poo-gene,” she said. “Remember, ‘Duh’ starts with a capital D.” Then she stuck out her tongue.

  “Meredith!” Ms. Beasley said, silencing her. “Eugene, your word is ‘boat.’ ”

  “Boat,” Eugene repeated.

  He looked at the board, ready to write, but his mind went blank. It was like someone had turned the lights off in his brain. He couldn’t think of letters or words. His hand was frozen at his side.

  Can’t . . . move . . . my . . . arm! Eugene realized. What kind of villain could be doing this?!

  He looked all around the room. Could it be Meredith (aka Little Miss Stinky Pinky)? No. She was busy drawing pink unicorns in her notebook and even she couldn’t draw unicorns and send a mind blast at the same time. And then Eugene saw her.

  Alpha Betty!

  The queen from Planet A-2-Z, evil Alpha Betty was determined to destroy all the letters of the alphabet and replace them with pictures of her evil kitty, Alpha Cat.

  “She’s the purrrrfect pet,” Alpha Betty purred. “And instead of singing ‘A-B-C-D-E-F-G. . . ’ everyone will be singing ‘Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat, Alpha Cat . . .’ ”

  “You’ll not destroy any letters today!” Captain Awesome replied.

  “Boat.” Eugene said the word again. And then once more to be sure. “Boat.”

  “Yes, Eugene,” Ms. Beasley said. “Boat.”

  In Super Dude’s Springtime Annual No. 4, Super Dude used his superboat with superstrong spray action to defeat the Water Weasel, “the world’s angriest sea mammal.” Thanks to Super Dude, Salty Sue and her crusty Uncle Crusty had been saved.

  Eugene knew how to spell “water,” but “boat” might be difficult. I know it starts with b, Eugene thought. And it has to end with a t.

  And somewhere along the way there had to be an o. A long o. And an a in the middle. But in what order? Which! One! Came! First!

  Eugene ran the question through his superpowered brain.

  Eugene figured that since a is the first letter of the alphabet, it must be first. That made o the letter after it. He carefully wrote b-a-o-t under the chalk drawing of a boat on the board.

  MISSION.

  ACCOMPLISHED.

  Eugene put the chalk down in the tray and looked at the word again. It looked funny. Not funny like a funny joke, but funny like something was wrong with it.

  And then he realized the horrible truth.

  He’d spelled the word wrong.

  Oh, why couldn’t his word have been “captain” or “awesome”—words he could spell in his sleep? How could he get “boat” so very wrong? It only had four letters!

  Eugene’s heart sank into a vat of bubbling hot lava and dropped to the bottom. Or at least that’s what it felt like. His stomach rumbled. He knew what was next: Meredith.

  “B-A-O-T?! What’s a ba-ot?!” Meredith exclaimed. She laughed, and several of her fri
ends joined in as Meredith sang, “Row, row, row your ba-ot gently down the stra-em! Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily! Life is but a dra-em!”

  Charlie wanted to change into Nacho Cheese Man and help his best friend rearrange the letters in “baot” with the help of a can of his spray cheese.

  But now it was too late to fix anything.

  Fortunately, Ms. Beasley, a teacher who was on the side of goodness, quieted the class. The laughter stopped. Eugene quickly erased his misspelled word and ran back to his desk.

  “Okay, listen up,” Ms. Beasley said. “Everyone needs to study their words tonight. Tomorrow’s our weekly spelling test.”

  GULP.

  “And I have some exciting news, class,” Ms. Beasley said.

  Eugene leaned forward in his seat. He didn’t want to miss a single word.

  “Whoever has the highest grade on tomorrow’s spelling test gets a special prize,” said Ms. Beasley.

  Eugene loved prizes. Would it be a trip to the Sunnyview Memorial Zoo to see the elephants—Eugene’s favorite? Or a treasure chest of pirate gold? Or maybe, just maybe, pizza for lunch for a whole week?

  Nope.

  It wasn’t any of those things. It was something better . . . and fuzzier.

  “That student gets extra Turbo Time during Turbo Day tomorrow afternoon!”

  EXTRA TURBO TIME!

  The class erupted in cheers. The only thing better than Turbo Time was extra Turbo Time! Eugene thought this was better than extra TV time or extra video game time!

  Turbo was the class hamster, but the fuzzy little fur ball had a secret. He was also a member of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad and Captain Awesome’s sidekick in the nonstop battle of crushing evil.

  And in that battle of good vs. evil, who doesn’t need the power of a superhamster?

  Eugene was going to win extra Turbo Time, and no letter of the alphabet was going to stop Eugene from doing that!

  “Emergency!” Charlie called.

  “E-m-e-r-g-e-n-c-y,” spelled out Eugene. “Emergency.”

  “Correct!” Charlie said.

  SLAP!

  They high-fived.

  One word down. Twenty-four to go!

  After school the boys had assembled in the Sunnyview Superhero Squad’s top secret superhero base for an emergency meeting.

  “By the super MI-TEE power of Captain Awesome and the canned cheese power of Nacho Cheese Man, I call this super-emergency meeting of the Sunnyview Superhero Squad to order.”

  Eugene took out the ceremonial Wooden Spoon of Awesomeness and banged it on the Shoebox of Justice. WHACK!

  Today there were three items on the Squad’s agenda:

  1. Spelling

  2. More spelling

  3. Brownies

  Luckily for Charlie, there was no rule that they had to be done in that order, so he stuffed a brownie into his mouth.

  Spelling was important enough to list twice, but the yumminess of Mrs. McGillicudy’s homemade brownies was important too. After all, superheroes have to keep up their strength with delicious snacks.

  “Melling mouldn’t me a mombrem!” Charlie said, his mouth full of brownie. He swallowed and tried again.

  “Spelling shouldn’t be a problem. We just have to keep an eye out in case Alpha Betty returns.”

  But Eugene knew better than to only worry about Alpha Betty. Even though spelling was one of Captain Awesome’s awesome superpowers, there was always a threat to the alphabet: Little Miss Stinky Pinky.

  Just like the A-B-C-Demon used his letters of destruction against Super Dude in Super Dude No. 21, Stinky Pinky would try her best to ruin tomorrow’s spelling test and take the hamster prize.

  The other kids didn’t know Meredith was really the bad guy Little Miss Stinky Pinky. With her pink hair ribbons, pink dress, pink socks, and pink shoes, people knew her only as the pinkest girl in all of Sunnyview. Yuck.

  But to Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man, Meredith was really the pinkest villain of all. It would be just like her to ruin the spelling test so she could hamster-nap Turbo and force him to reveal the real identities of Captain Awesome and Nacho Cheese Man.

  “We’ve got to be ready for Little Miss Stinky Pinky too,” Eugene said. “She’ll try to use her brain-melting powers to melt our brains during the spelling test.”

  Neither one of them had forgotten that Miss Stinky Pinky had once tried to steal Turbo and smuggle him out of school in her backpack.

  “She’s not going to get him,” Eugene vowed in his most awesome superhero voice. “I will win that extra Turbo Time.”

  “The only way to do that is to get the high score on Ms. Beasley’s spelling test tomorrow,” Charlie said.

  Eugene nodded. “Score,” he said. “S-c-o . . .” he stopped. Wait, what was that next letter?

  “Are you ready to fail, Flunk-gene?” Meredith stood in the doorway of Ms. Beasley’s classroom, filling it with her rosy awfulness.

  “I’m ready to pass my spelling test, My! Me! Mine! MEREDITH!” Eugene declared. “P-A-S-S!”

  Eugene squeezed past Meredith and plopped into his desk next to Charlie.

  “You ready, Charlie?” Eugene asked.

  “You bet. I brought extra cans of cheese, including the new flavor: Triple Cheddar Chili! If Little Miss Stinky Pinky tries any of her tricks, my cheese shall show no mercy!”

  It’s always good to have someone watch your back with a can of superhero cheese, Eugene thought.

  RING!

  Everyone was in their seats and Ms. Beasley was ready with the test. “Your first word is . . . ‘boat.’ ” She laughed. “I want to see who was paying attention yesterday.” Eugene shook his head. That was just the kind of thing a teacher would do.

  The second word was “carrot.” The third was “chocolate.” Then “waterfall.”

  Ms. Beasley threw out her words to the class faster than Professor Zoom-Zoom ran circles around Super Dude in Super Dude No. 96: The Speedster of Quickitude.

  Eugene barely had time to write down an answer before the next word hit his ears like a dodge ball in gym class.

  But if aliens ever invaded Sunnyview with a list of words to spell, Eugene would be ready. He took a deep breath and summoned all his superhero might. Ms. Beasley called out the next words.

  “Railroad.”

  “Groceries.”

  “Kangaroo.”

  Eugene caught a glimpse of Meredith from the corner of his eye. She was writing as fast as she could.

  Then Ms. Beasley said the words that froze him in his chair, just like that time the Freezer Geezer wrapped Super Dude in a giant ice cream sandwich in Super Dude No. 48.

  “BONUS WORD.”

  A shiver ran up Eugene’s back. A bonus word was one that wasn’t on their study sheet. It could be any word at all.

  “ ‘Awesome,’ ” Ms. Beasley said.

  Eugene smiled his most heroic smile. He was the first to finish. He put down his pencil with a MI-TEE SLAP!

  Take that, Pinky, he thought as Ms. Beasley collected all the papers.

  “Read quietly?” How much longer do I have to read quietly for? Eugene thought. It seemed to take forever plus infinity for Ms. Beasley to grade the spelling tests.

  Finally she put down her red pen. “Class, I’m very pleased to announce that we have a tie for the highest grade.”

  Ms. Beasley pointed right at Eugene and Meredith. “You two are tied for best speller! You’ll both get extra Turbo Time today!”

  GAK! thought Eugene. Well, at least I can protect Turbo from Little Miss Stinky Pinky’s evil plans!

  Mrs. Beasley continued, “I’m also excited to share that the second grade is going to have a spelling bee!”

  DOUBLE GAK!

  They must be called “spelling bees” because they sting when you lose, Eugene thought nervously.

  “The two best spellers from each class are going to compete for the school’s spelling trophy,” Ms. Beasley explained. “And I’m very happy to say th
at Eugene and Meredith will be representing our class!”

  Eugene gasped. Compete? In front of the school? At least Ms. Beasley’s happy about it, he thought.

  But Eugene couldn’t back out. There was a trophy on the line! Everyone knew that trophies weren’t just a symbol of greatness. They had special trophy powers that must only be used for good and never for evil.

  This spelling bee would be the ultimate battle—not just between Eugene and Meredith, but also between Captain Awesome and Little Miss Stinky Pinky.

  There could only be one winner. And it had to be Eugene. The safety of Sunnyview Elementary—and the universe—depended on it!

  “I just know you’ll win,” Sally Williams told Eugene.

  For the rest of the week Eugene spelled wherever he went.

  “B-r-o-c-c-o-l-i,” he spelled at the dinner table where his parents were used to spelling outbursts from their son. He even spelled “rutabaga,” even though he was sure that no one ever spelled it . . . or ate it.

  “B-e-d-r-o-o-m,” he spelled in his room, along with “blanket,” “pillow,” and “door.”

  “T-o-i-l-e-t,” he spelled in the bathroom. And just to be sure, he spelled “p-o-t-t-y,” too.

  He even studied with Turbo. “H-a-m-s-t-e-r,” he spelled, and he thought he saw Turbo give him a little nod.

  Eugene had spent the rest of the week s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g every word he could think of until the big day finally arrived. Eugene stood on stage in the auditorium. Unfortunately, he had to stand next to Meredith because they were from the same class.